Saturday, 30 May 2015

LINNEA QUIGLEY’S HORROR WORKOUT *** USA 1990 Dir: Kenneth J Hall.

Opening, appropriately enough, with a long gratuitous Linnea Quigley shower scene (before a big close-up scream), this 80’s time capsule is an endearing combination of self-promoting clip-show (with longish scenes from Linnea fare including CREEPOZOIDS and SORORITY BABES IN THE SLIME BOWL-O-RAMA) and a spoof of the 80’s workout fad. Quigley openly presents it as a kind of masturbatory aid by doing said workouts in her metal studded bra and fishnets. “Stretch those muscles, that’s it…” she enthuses, “Not THAT muscle…” Her appealing, self-deprecating self-portrayal amusingly mocks her own career limitations while the 60 minute movie is padded via a post-THRILLER interlude of Quigley menaced by pudgy zombies, who join her in a choreographed pool-side workout. The final act turns into a pastiche of slasher movie clich├ęs, as Linnea has her chums over for a slumber party, principally so they can pillow-fight in their skimpies. The spoofing is broad as a machete wielding, masked maniac offs the girls with axes and drills, and severed heads turn up in toilets a la HOUSE ON SORORITY ROW. In a cute twist, the killer is unmasked as Linnea, explaining that killing is how she really stays in shape, condemning the typical viewer for the kind of acts they perform as “exercise” while watching her normal movies.

Review by Steven West

Available as an extra on the 'HOLLYWOOD CHAINSAW HOOKERS' Blu-Ray and DVD





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