Tuesday, 29 December 2015

JACK FROST *** USA 1996 Dir: Michael Cooney. 89 mins


There were two movies called JACK FROST on release in the late 90’s, but this is the only one in which an evil snowman says “It ain’t fuckin’ Frosty” and decapitates a school kid for fun (the other one stars Michael Keaton and leaves you with the desire to decapitate a school kid). En route to his execution, a serial killer finds his evil soul transferred into the physical form of a snowman thanks to a freak accident. This gives him the ability to melt and freeze at will to continue his rampage, like some kind of bargain basement snowman version of the T-1000.
At his most perverse, he uses this ability to turn into bath water for the town’s resident teen babe (a pre-AMERICAN PIE Shannon Elizabeth) before molesting her with his carrot-nose in a uniquely sick variant on PSYCHO’s shower murder. So cheap that it couldn’t even afford fake snow to decorate its small town festive backdrop, this self-aware slasher movie is very endearing and full of amusing gags. Highlights include Frost smashing a woman’s face into some baubles and turning her into a giant, bloody Christmas decoration (cop on the scene: “Aren’t you gonna keep her up for the 12 days of Christmas?!”) and a priceless moment in which the snowman-killer steals a car and runs over its dumbfounded owner. If they showed this on Christmas TV every year instead of THE SNOWMAN, the world would be a happier place.

Review by Steven West


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