Thursday, 26 May 2016

ROCK 'N' ROLL FRANKENSTEIN *** USA 1999 Dir: Brian O'Hara 88 mins

If, like me, you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Elvis and a bunch of other deceased music legends, with the addition of Liberace’s penis, were stitched together, reanimated and forced to perform music again then look no further then Rock N Roll Frankenstein!!

Bernie Stein (played by Barry Feterman) is a failing music agent and his latest scheme to create the next big thing involves enlisting the help of his (kind of cute) nephew Frankie (Jayson Spence), a scientist who lost his job as a coroner due to his hankering for fondling corpses, and druggy/roadie Iggy (Hiram Jacob Segarra) to dig up all the great music legends of yester year to create a superstar. Frankie has managed to create a substance, not unlike that from Re-Animator, made from the brains of half developed foetuses capable of resurrecting dead and rotting remains. One result of this being the endearing and loveable reanimated rat like creature called Mr. Peepers. The constantly wasted Iggy and his friends are the ones sent to procure the various body parts, most of which are conveniently buried in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame Cemetery. They manage to get most parts needed including the hands of Jimi Hendrix and the arse of Sid Vicious. They get Elvis’ head from Graceland and finally are sent to retrieve the manhood that once belonged to Jim Morrison (despite Frankie wanting his creation to have a vagina!). Unfortunately something goes horribly wrong and they end up grabbing Liberace’s member instead but label it as Morrison’s. The serum is administered (rather hap hazardly) and the monster is born! King, as he is known as (played by Graig Guggenheim) takes a little while to get accustomed to himself but soon becomes a massive hit and starts a band, however, he soon realises something is not quite right within himself. He starts battling between Elvis’ love of the ladies and his penis’ desire to plough as many men as possible, with hilarious consequences. The first instance of this is a visit to a pet shop where he is overcome with the urge to buy 2 gerbils who meet a rather sticky end and they are not the only ones. This conflict in his head does end the lives of various other unfortunates, and some more deserving, in quite humorous ways. As this is going on he and his band, now named “King and the Unnatural Urges” have become a huge success especially with the female population which only fuels the conflict going on in Kings head, he starts having internal conversations with his penis and eventually confides in his creator, Frankie, “you stuck me with a fucking homo wand!!” This is where the film actually seems to change a bit into a kind of voyage of self discovery so to speak, as Frankie (who at this point is unaware of the mishap with the penises) supports King and encourages him to be happy with who he is and that it doesn’t matter if he’s gay or straight. King refuses to believe this and the truth about his cock is revealed and he insists that Frankie removes it immediately. This is easier said then done as Liberace’s deceased yet reanimated zombie dong has now grown to an immense size and proves impossible to remove without fatal consequences. Needless to say more tragedies occur and it culminates in an epic battle between gargantuan zombie penis and the rest of the hideous creation that is the monster known as King!
I enjoyed this film and found it very entertaining and even a tad emotional which was unexpected. The character of Bernie has been accused, in other reviews I have found, of over using the word fuck. I disagree. I actually think it’s hard to over use in this instance and adds to the humour. The only thing that could have enhanced it would have been more use of the word TWOT which I found highly amusing!! The music is quite good, with a few rather simple but effective Rock N Roll numbers. The special effects of King are quite dodgy but I believe they are meant to be, the fact that they had to black up his hands springs instantly to mind, but Mr. Peepers and a couple of other bits are great (lets not forget it was shot in the late 90’s) and remind me a little of the Sumatran Rat-Monkey from Braindead. This film has also been accused of gay bashing which I also feel is unfair. It’s a film about a resurrected Elvis with Liberace’s cock, what the fuck do you expect??!! In my opinion the gay jokes could have been a hell of a lot worse than they are and there could have been a lot more than there was. The acting is okay, quite hammy and awkward in places though especially at the end. In conclusion this is pretty entertaining, fun and done in incredibly bad taste. Hilarious!!

Review by Sarah Budd





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