Sunday, 6 November 2016

BITE ME! *** U.S.A. 2004 85 mins Dir : Brett Piper

At the strip club known as Go Go Saurus custom isn't what it used to be. The customers are tired of the same old act, the girls are overworked and under paid, then you have the problem of management running the place into the ground. To make matters worse there is someone willing to buy the club if the current owner doesn't make enough money within a set time. So he sets a plan in motion where he will buy a crate of government enhanced marijuana and sell it for a profit giving him the much needed capital to keep his club. His luck is about to change as in it is going to get worse.
Within the crate of marijuana is a new strain of spider that will overwhelm the strip club and force everyone inside to take up arms. These spiders have one hell of a bite as they turn whoever they bite sex mad so much so that 2 of the characters spend a good portion of the film having a lesbian frolic. As the staff take on the mutant spiders a member of the DEA arrives and he hates drugs and people who like the same sex. Soon he is overwhelmed by the spiders and becomes a creature himself, the only way to destroy him and these bugs are with dynamite which just so happens to be carried by the pest control guy who showed up earlier in the film. They have fought their foes and destroyed the strip club, most people have survived but what is that rising in the fire at the end? Of course being a strip club there will be nudity but the stripteases besides Misty Mundaes are the worst since Jamie Lee Curtis's strip in 'TRUE LIES'. Misty Mundae seems to be really enjoying her role in this film even more so when she becomes a Rambo (Rambette?) type character after a spider bite and goes into ass kicking mode. The stop motion animation is what you would expect from Piper and he doesn't disappoint as you get a few different creatures to enjoy. Brett Piper, Misty Mundae, stop motion animation and naked girls equates to 85 minutes of pure fun.

Review by Peter 'Witchfinder' Hopkins


 


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