Film Review: CHASTITY BITES (2013)

CHASTITY BITES **** USA 2013 Dir: John V Knowles. 89 mins

Blaming the over-sexed media and the liberal homosexual agenda, the moms of a small middle-America town import an alluring European beauty named Liz Bathory (Louise Griffiths) to push their much vaunted abstinence programme at the high school. Liz, seemingly ageless with great skin, establishes “V.A.G.” (Virginity Action Group”), while a giallo-style hatted, black-gloved killer slashes the throats of virgins.
Despite some clumsy exposition (the heroine reads up about Elizabeth Bathory on Wikipedia), this is a witty 21st century variant on THE STEPFORD WIVES for the Bible Belt-set, highlighted by caustic HEATHERS-inspired dialogue : “Jesus Freak Cunt” might be the movie insult of the year. Griffiths, who goes all demonic at the very mention of the name “God” in a public school, is a lot of fun and Allison Scaggliotti hits the bullseye as the smart, funny heroine (best line: “Not so fast, you Euro trash Hell-whore!”). Riffing on slasher movie clichés and amiably employing fantasy interludes, this clever indie also boasts a Stuart Gordon cameo and a groovy psychobilly-infused soundtrack.

Review by Steven West


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