THE SPANISH CHAINSAW MASSACRE (a.k.a. Carnivoros) ** Spain 2017 Dir: Manolito Motosierra 70 mins
Heavy metal band ‘The Metal Dicks’ are on the road to promote their first record but on the journey to their first tour location the van they are travelling in gets a flat tyre. After pushing the vehicle to the closest town they are met by the town’s mayor who invites them to stay to enjoy the towns patrons saints day festivities. While the prospect of free food and drink may seem very inviting to the band they will soon realise that they are the main course.
Blood, gore and toilet humour are abundant in this attempt to shock the senses into saying “what the hell did I just watch?” Its English title is THE SPANISH CHAINSAW MASSACRE so naturally you are expecting a kind of THE TEXAS CHAIN SAW MASSACRE homage. The closest it comes to being that is that the main characters travel in a van and theres a chainsaw and oh not forgetting the cannibals. The story is as flimsy as toilet paper in a hurricane but lets be honest the story is intentionally that thin, to allow it to at least have some reason to get to the next essential gore scene it set out for. Acting wise you probably haven’t seen acting this bad since PERVIRELLA (1997), but at least it entertains on the blood spill level. Don’t go into this one expecting a masterpiece, leave your brain at the door and if you survive after viewing this film you can always pick your brain up when you leave.
Review by Peter ‘Witchfinder‘ Hopkins