THE LAST FIVE DAYS * USA 2020 Dir: Clay Moffatt. 70 mins
Framed by an unconvincing press conference about the mysterious deaths of two students (“Wasn’t there a tape found in the camera?”), this found footage movie is largely a two hander starring co-writers Clay Moffatt and Joe Pacini, with Moffatt directing.
Greg (Moffatt) and Brian (Pacini) are studying film production and the footage in question is from their ill-fated final project as they set off to capture some salacious clips from supposedly haunted sites at Pennington Orchard and Silly Mountain (yes, they note what a stupid name that is). What follows is lots of poking around in the dark, scrutinising of patches of dirt, drinking soda and talking at length about the strange experiences we have just witnessed them have.
Though it gamely attempts to build dread and intrigue from such cinematic thrills as tables falling over and the discovery of rotten fruit in an unexpected place, this is yet another lame, unscary, amateurish addition to the sub-genre and dominated by a pair of irritating, unlikeable protagonists. The dialogue self-consciously nods to the obvious inspiration (“There is paranormal activity going on out there!”) while justifying the stupidity of its own characters (“We should keep the camera on because its our project”) and failing to gain any chills from various shots of mysteriously closing doors.
After unconvincing efforts to build tension between the leads, and the inevitable Apple Mac exposition sequence, this at least delivers some unintended laughs when Greg’s eventual possession is conveyed via sickly Emo make-up, cross-eyes and a tendency to wig out like some weird, shrieking primate. Such shenanigans result in the camera lens getting partially shattered – though sadly enough is still visible for us to have to still be able to watch the rest of the movie.
Review by Steven West